Skip to main content

i do not belong to myself

 


I do not belong to myself. So says a woman of my years in Mariupol, Ukraine, after she walks out of a bunker, returning to the streets and the dust and the stench and the rubble. She perspires wisdom, amid the deafening boom and rattle, so that the ghoulish din becomes a screen, a trellis for another vine of knowing to climb from the scorched Earth. Here in Tennessee, tendrils of spring tease us. Ukraine’s winter has its long claws out. Still bomb shelters fill with music, to coax Persephone to return to her mother. After all, it is the green fuse that convinces death to share its plunder and feed the parts of Earth being born, germinating, adding another supple layer. I plant potatoes in black dirt full of worms and beetles and slime mold, while the moon is still dark. I pray a pledge into each sprout, Phoenix rising from the muck to lift dreams of the careworn, up and up and out. Nearby the oak and beech watch each feathered wish drift past their canopies on wings of yellow and blue. Here is an old harbor for the thin skinned, tender or tired. Here are the first lines in a new story where we serve as a bed of potatoes, a garden of possibility for a free Ukraine, Afghanistan, Palestine, Venezuela, DR Congo, Taiwan. We do not belong to ourselves. Pass that woman a Molotov Cocktail, there is another one of Putin's tanks coming over the hill.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Death Might Be Just A Holy Rend

  Death Might Be Just A Holy Rend And life a faithful pillow - a pillow to go flat, a spirit to drift off,  glaciers to melt and raise the sea. The blueprint is clear - Expect a tiny storm of mercy–  full of crows and bottle flies to debride the corpse,  to tithe the land.      And respect the putrid demise - things that fall apart make space for miracles.   Yet there persists the memory of breath rinsed in lavender and salt air. Then the dreams for blood and semen to revive, to metabolize  every tired, sad gospel into a hatch of octopus. Death confesses everything as she conjures her necrosis, as she feigns redemption, fools us with false devotion. She believes our defiance will set her free.   We must let grief to be the thread and needle to darn the rend, renew the cloth. then we can grasp the nascent green of winter wheat in spring.

Covid Journal Entry 14

April 4, 2020 Today’s image – Exploring social cohorts. So, on campus now there is a small village of us living together, the remnants of those in residence this year.   We are an international population: seven from the US, six from Vietnam, five from China,   four from Morocco, one from the DR and two dogs/three cats.   We share four large buildings where we live, take our meals, study and exercise, on a five-acre campus. The rest of the two hundred and sixty or seventy odd community members are sheltering in their homes; some of the teachers and administrators dropping by during the week to work in their offices.   We have had little or no contact with them so far.   Our chef and his crew of two come in by rotation to prepare and serve the daily meals, a maintenance duo tend to the essential tasks and repairs, the city services haul away trash and recycling, the postal service, UPS and FedEx still deliver mail and packages.   It’s Iowa and the gove...

Covid19 Journal Entry 13

April 3, 2020 Today’s idea – I want to follow a suggestion of looking at my situation through different lenses. A macro lens magnifies my considerations of things, hopefully so that I might notice what I’m overlooking. Peering through these eyes, I see life slow down and seem more intentional with the extended solitude of quarantine.   The introverted place in me is mostly fine with this state of things, until the longings for companionship or just hanging out with friends stirs up unruly emotions. These vex me because they take on the old voice of negative self-talk.   In this head space I can turn normal feelings of missing my family, particularly sons and granddaughters into an old loop of “they don’t mis me so much anyway because I’m not around like most good grandmothers are.”   I’ve even given myself a moniker, VAG, visiting aunt grandmother.   Somehow it makes me feel less consequential but still adorable.   We live out our choices and our strokes o...