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2020 Pandemic Journey Day 46

May 6, 2020

Today’s idea – If hours were the bricks that built a life and moments were the mortar, then no wall would be straight nor angle true. Every day is shaped by our thoughts and moods, by the meteorology of mind and the seismology emotion.  Maybe bricks aren’t the right metaphor; I could shift to one more incrementally pertinent, like the mud pellets used by cliff swallows to build their nest.  A season opens for brooding babies, and swallows make a thousand swoops to a river bank, load their beaks,  then back to the cliff face to tuck a BB sized mud and saliva ball into its place.  The nest grows from the cliff face like days grow around us, breath by breath.  In the end, a clay basket emerges as if out of thin air, the babies fill it, and then it empties.   I think I am making a point about how we live the outcomes that build a history and also create a normal. 

We have been trying to imagine a new rhythm and rhyme to our lives, a set of reflective standards from which come our daily decisions. Some implicit agreement the carries our revelations from the last few months. It is at the hub of consideration these days. How do we emerge from this interruption and great inconvenience as if we had learned something? How do we display the new wisdom and compassion we found? What will the Great Realization embrace?  “There is no try,” as Yoda said, “do or do not.” The new normal does not try either.  It is already forming, a coalescence out of a billion tiny things we do to accommodate the imperatives before us.  The new normal shapes itself along the lines of the cliff wall from which it grows. It might form with radial symmetry, blooming from a seed of queries we have pushed out in ripples around us. It is accreting like habits, often beautiful and unplanned, as we struggle with days full of questions, especially the ones that tug at our arms and feel mysterious and unsafe.  We complain when the days demand a trust walk, but we have learned to swim hard through them because, as exasperating as they feel, they strengthen us and sometimes are the only path to clarity. Then there are the days of surrender when even the smallest sacrifice splits us open and fills us with unexpected treasure and shine. The normal we cobble together doesn’t even know how it will turn out. Organic growth is not a worrier. We only have to look outside to see how nature allows normal to enter as in the Spring manifesting about us. The new normal isn’t waiting for us to decide how it should be, it is busy building itself mud pellet by mud pellet.  Our return will be its own departure from the life we left behind. And like any magnificent building or stunning collaboration or chorus, it won’t arrive from a solitary realization and plan, but rise up like a forest of dreams synthesized with the spot of its becoming.  It is the sum of all of our hope and fear moments, an expression that thrives in reciprocity more than expectations.

I pray that our new normal is quite alive and well and full of volition; that it is a moment by moment living thing.  Big and broad and diverse as every healthy and resilient community comes to be when built upon the multiplicity of shared experiences and lessons and aspirations. It is what will creates the durable next steps; the walk through the dark and light moments, the wonderful dappling and intimidating depths.  The music of the new normal will be the noise of our disagreements, discordant and powerful as a Shostakovich symphony, where all the empty spaces can fill and make new empty space.  The shape of the new normal is defined more with the meteorology of mind, the seismology of emotion than any proud architectural plan.  I say, we’d do well to keep those mud pellets malleable and keep them coming as we lean into what’s ahead.  


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